- Never as a question where the answer is Yes or No. "Is this verse saying that God is good?"
- Never ask a question that is so blindingly obvious that no-one will want to answer it: "Who loved the world so much that he gave his only Son?"
- Never ask multiple questions: "What has God said he will do for his people in verse 7, why will he do it, and what will be the result, and what horse won the 3.30 at Kempton Park Racecourse?"
- Always ask open questions that get people to think about what the Scriptures are actually saying: "what is the big surprise in v 15?"
- Ask not just about facts (what), but also about motivation (why), and connections (how): "Why do you think Jesus asks this question the way he does?"
But I've discovered over the years that, as the title says, often the best questions are not questions at all. Here's what I mean.
You've asked one of your finely crafted questions, and Janice, a young Christian who doesn't usually say very much, gives a hesitating answer, that shows she's on the right track. You can tell by the wrinkled forehead that she has got a lot more thoughts in her mind, but is unsure about her first answer, so has not said any more. So now is your chance to deploy the finest two words in Bible study history.
Are you ready for them?
Take a deep breath and repeat after me:
"Go on"Say these two words out loud now - they will change the face of your home group forever!
"Go on"
These words say loads of things to Jittery Janice, or shrinking Stephen, or hesitant Hannah, or timid Trevor. They tell them:
- You're on the right track
- I'm interested in the thoughts that are in your head - please share them round so that other people can be encouraged by them
- The stage is yours...
It's the equivalent of what some books call an "extending question" - but without the need to think of another question. With the right tone, or even prefacing it with "I think you're on the right track here, go on..."or "That's an interesting idea, go on...", you are encouraging them to speak so they can encourage everyone else.
Try it at your next home group meeting, and you will be astonished by the power of these two little words to transform your group.
But a word of caution. Don't tell your group to read this blog post. Word got back to a group I once ran about a training session I ran, where I talked about these magic words. From that time on - all they did when I said "Go On" was laugh at me...
Other phrases I use are:
ReplyDelete- In what way?
- What do you mean?
- Give me more.
- Keep going.
All doing the same thing as you describe...drawing out more thoughts from them.
Thanks for the post.
Great answer Matt, I think you're onto something...
ReplyDeletego on...
In the event of an emergency, you can always graduate to Mmm Hmm?
ReplyDeleteI actually do think that in the right tone of voice it not only does the same thing as "go on" but without interrupting their train of thought by using words.
Julie N (Seeing as it insists on thinking I'm an anonymous)
Right on Julie - when you get this down to a fine art, you can use a whole range incomprehensible grunts to move the conversation on.
ReplyDeleteCall back for my masterclass on leading a homegroup with your eyebrows only...