potted proverbs: The main thing is the main thing

What kind of home group leader are you? A hippy, an engineer, a gardener or a schoolmaster?

Over the next few weeks I want to unpack (there's that word again!) some of the different leadership styles we may have, and try to work out what the pros and cons are.

Giving some thought to your style of leadership, and how you relate to others and just "be" with a group of people can be very instructive to working out your blind spots in making your home group go with a zing.

I asked the same question in a parenting seminar I ran with a friend a couple of years ago, and it opened my eyes to some dark truths about myself, and how I influence others.

Let me be up front. I pretty much default to Hippy mode when I'm with groups of people. I just love the journey so much, that I'm tempted to forget the destination. I think people in my homegroup have a great and memorable time, but I need to make sure that I have planned, prepared and have firmly fixed in my mind where we need to get to as we open God's word together.

Because, as I have written here, the key purpose of a home group is that we encourage one another with the Word of Christ. When we look at a passage of Scripture, it is God speaking to us - and he has something very important to tell us. It's important for us as leaders to be committed to that, because our social culture is pushing in exactly the opposite direction. Our culture values the  expressing of opinions and ideas and  does not like saying anybody is wrong - especially in matters of morality and spirituality.

But genuine Christian believers are committed to the truth of the Bible as God's Word. This is the only genuinely Christian position, because our master Jesus was committed to that too -  and a servant is not above his master. John 13:16. So we are committed to the belief that the truth of Scripture is objective. It is not about "what it means to me", but "what it means."[full stop]

That's why the Proverb of the title is so important for you, and for my fellow hippies in particular, as we lead a homegroup. Our job in preparation is to come to a conclusion about the main thing that the passage is saying, and to build our discussion, questions, and programme for the evening around the main thing. The main thing is the destination of our time together. Because it is what God is saying to us right now from the part of scripture we are looking at.

Hippy homegroup leaders may start with a destination in mind - albeit a vague one. But as we set out on the highway in our minibus to visit the doctor, we are intrigued by a sign that says "Museum of curiosities 5 miles" and turn off the road. And after spending some time there, we see a sign for "The world's best Cajun restaurant, 3 miles" and slide off in that direction for a while. And then we stop by a lake because it has a beautiful view, and we watch the sun set together. We had a great time. But we never made it to the doctor, and our problems remain un-diagnosed, un-treated and unresolved.

It can be the same with homegroups. We move from one interesting and absorbing distraction to another, and everyone has a great time. Except we never get to where we were going... If you are on holiday, that doesn't especially matter. But when the destination is hearing something really important that the creator of the universe, your saviour and Lord has to say to you, it is shockingly rude and disrespectful. The main thing is the main thing.


Preparation
Good preparation is always the key here. If you are writing the study yourself, come to a conclusion about the main point, and try to write a summary sentence for what the Bible study is about - your best hit at The Big Idea of the passage.

If you are using a published Bible-study guide, try to choose one that helps you with this. Some studies are just a series of questions that open up the content and logic of the passage, but do not try to focus down onto a single, central idea. The Good Book Guides are a good example of published guides that structure their studies this way.

That's not to say, of course, that you should deny the opportunity to look elsewhere as you work through a passage, and follow some interesting side roads for a while. Nor is it to say that, as you discuss the passage together, you may begin to see that the big idea is a little different from how your first saw it. But the truth is, that if you start without a destination, it is likely that you will end up going nowhere.

Potted Proverbs: cross the ball - don't score the goal!

It’s a familiar scene to anyone who knows football. The soccer player who tries to “go it alone” runs at the defence, takes a wild shot, and completely misses - while his team-mates, completely unmarked, stand by helpless. The furious team coach is yelling from the touchline: “Pass the ball, don’t score the goal!”

One of the most important lessons I learned early on in my unusual career as a home group leader is contained in this pithy potted proverb. It's one of many I've collected over the years, and will blog on here over the next few months.

Everybody knows that Discovery is the best kind of education. I will always learn something more thoroughly if I’m put in the position where I discover it for myself, rather than if someone just tells me. But it's remarkable how many of us fail to work it out in practice.

If someone comments on a Bible passage and tells me what it says, I will register it. I may agree or disagree. I will wonder if it's your opinion, rather than what the Bible passage is actually saying.

But if I am prodded, provoked and encouraged to say what I see there, then it does a whole load of different things. I learn how to teach myself from God's Word. I encourage myself: Expression deepens impression as the saying goes. And I actually apply it to myself much more deeply. The experience of discovery is so much more exciting than listening to a lecture.

If you are a conscientious leader you will have done your prep on the passage. You pretty much know what the big idea is - the main point that we need everyone to grasp in the middle of all those other little observations. And because we've thought about it, and maybe even read a commentary or two, it's crystal clear in our minds, and so obvious to us when we look at the bible passage.

But then we get frustrated that no-one seems to get it, or traumatised by the silence. So we end up blurting out the answer before the cogs in their minds have really begun to turn properly.

This is something that the Lord Jesus understood. When he was asked directly, he gave a full and complete answer - but much of his teaching had that 'self discovery' element to it. An intriguing story was told, or a forehead-wrinkling question was asked, or an awkward piece of Old Testament Scripture was quoted, and then he walked away saying over his shoulder: "He who has ears to hear let him hear." Waiting for the penny to drop in its own time.

Frustrating as it might be, if you're a good leader, you'll know that your group will grow more, be more encouraging, and learn more deeply and thoroughly if you let them score the goal, by passing them the opportunity with a careful question.

And there's the big skill to develop. Asking questions that open up the passage for us in a way that connects with our lives - not just as an academic exercise in prising out good thoughts from a Bible passage.

So, not "What does v 16 say?" but " "What does v 16 say to us if we're feeling like we want to give up?"

And not "What does  v20 say about God?" but " "What surprises you about God in v 20?"

So please. Don't be a glory hunter -  cross the ball, and watch with delight as your group members do a dance of delight after seeing the ball hit the back of the net.